Accidental Café Models

At 60, I accidentally became a model. Sort of.

I was traveling this week, so I skipped the more ‘political’ edition of the newsletter. As you know, I like to keep weekends on The Planet for lighter stories to take a break from the darker side of politics. And it doesn’t get much lighter than this: join me for a moment in Oslo.

(Oh, and in true irony, I accidentally published this on Screen Skills first, and then hurried to delete it. Some of you might’ve seen it pop up in your inbox. So much for my screen skills…)

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My Tuesday morning routine in Oslo has become a highlight of the week. I meet up with my friend Alistair for a coffee in one of the many local cafes in Oslo. Happy Foods is a favorite, with a well-chosen name, since its excellent selection of fresh food is bound to make you happy.

We have our own table, our own usual orders, and discuss the world like Statler and Waldorf, looking down from our high loge on the crazy politics of this world as if it were a failed theater production. By the time we have finished our second flat white, we have easily solved some seven or eight wars; some people would claim that’s enough to receive a Nobel Peace Prize in the Town Hall, not far from Happy Foods. We’d accept it, but we draw the line at FIFA’s version.

For those who don’t know Alistair, we met during the pandemic when I interviewed him about his book The Great Melt: Accounts from the Frontline of Climate Change. We kept talking, he regularly joined my podcast, and when I moved to Oslo last summer, we finally met in person. Now we catch up on the news during those weekly coffees.

On a recent Tuesday, there was an unexpected change in the routine. When we walked in, one table was transformed into what I can only describe as an Instagram dream: the best products were beautifully displayed, there was matcha in beautiful cups, flowers, and delicacies spread out like a food magazine shoot. Because it was exactly that—Irina, who runs the place, was photographing it all for a café promotion.

We were the only customers.

Irina looked at us. We looked at the table.

“Would you two mind sitting there and, you know, looking like you’re enjoying yourselves?”

Would we mind? We’re journalists. This smelled like free food and a story.

So there we sat, two grown men trying to look natural while pretending to casually enjoy an elaborate spread meticulously arranged for maximum visual appeal. I’m sure we looked very sophisticated and not at all like kids who’d been told they could have dessert before dinner.

The best part? After the photos, Irina just left it all for us. The chocolates, the matcha, the whole works. We spent the next hour enjoying what we’d been pretending to enjoy, talking about the Oslo Christmas tree heading to Trafalgar Square (we’d both written about it here and here), and discussing our other writing projects.

A week later, we asked Irina if we had gone viral on social media. It was then that we discovered that only our hands made it to Instagram in a video shot taken from above the table. Well, a modeling career has to start somewhere, and we just happen to start with our hands.

Happy Foods fits into a tradition of nice cafés you find scattered around Oslo. But have a look at the Instagram page, and you instantly see that Happy Foods is a category of its own: the best food selection in Oslo simply makes you happy. Irina told me that many of her foreign visitors come specifically for the cafe, which they have already been following on social media. It’s ideal to combine with a visit to Vigeland Park.

Happy Foods, Neuberggata 2A, Oslo, Norway, WWW.HappyFoods.no Instagram: happyfoods_oslo

Just don’t expect to stumble into a photo shoot every time. Though if you do, say yes. Free matcha beats dignity every time.

If you have a look at Happy Food’s Instagram page, see if you can find our hands on Instagram. The color of the sweaters we were wearing helps you to recognize our hands during our short modeling career. We got a taste of it; let’s stick to writing.

Cheers,

Alexander

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I am an independent journalist based in Europe, and I write about democracy, nature, and the intersection of politics and society. The Planet 🌎 is a reader-supported publication for those concerned about democratic backsliding and environmental collapse. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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I also publish on Patreon:

My stories on Patreon are more personal and informal. For instance, yesterday I wrote: Parking My Rust Bucket at Buckingham Palace

And, a few hours ago, I posted another post about the same trip, which Patreon members can read here.

Or perhaps you enjoyed the article and would like to support my writing by buying me a coffee?

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I interviewed Alister Doyle for my podcast in 2021. Although the podcast is likely no longer available, I wrote about the interview here in The Planet.

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